This winter I have been reflecting on the projects and communities i have been part of in recent years, thinking about what is happening when collaboration is working well, compared to when it is not.

We often say that we need people to have ‘good communication’, but what do we mean when we say that? What does good communication look like? Here are some of the top things I see that help…

• Saying clearly what you want / need / see is needed.
• Saying ‘no’ if you are not genuinely willing.
• Saying ‘yes and’ or ‘yes or’ to integrate your insights and needs alongside others.
• Capacity to hear things that are triggering or uncomfortable and processing them.
• Capacity to stay in connection when there’s disagreement or conflict.
• Accepting when there’s not alignment, when to let go, allowing grief.
• Sensing when to pause to get clear / make agreements, and when to crack on and try things out.

In projects where people are working well together on a shared mission, I generally see a culture of deep listening, generative dialogue, ways of integrating different ideas and capacity to navigate conflict. And when it is not working so well, I see criticism rather than feedback, competition rather than collaboration, and things getting stuck in cycles of blame and pain. Sometimes culture and structure can shift that, and sometimes things need to fall apart and reform elsewhere with a different culture and group dynamic.

(You can see a more in depth reflection of a recent project with GM Systems Changers here.)

One of the places that skills for collaboration becomes especially important is where people are living together as a community. We are currently helping out at Myoho Valley which is a land based community in Portugal. I asked Helios who has been running this place over the last few years ‘What do you see helps?’ – this is their response…

1. Dealing with issues & finding solutions in real time. This prevents build up of resentment, gossip, time wasting etc, and keeps things dynamic.
2. Everyone needs to be responsible for themselves – sticking to what we say, being okay with reminders if we forget something etc, and self aware.
3. Everyone needs a private space to go if living communally for any reasonable amount of time. This enables people to stay grounded in their own energy when in a communal living area.
4. Regular group meetings to check in personally/practically, so the team is in the same page. It’s a good opportunity to keep track of who is where.
5. You need the courage to speak up in a group when conflict is involved, and i notice that many people don’t have this. Courage with communication and perhaps more practise/study on that for individuals is something that can make collaboration and safety in a community work more effectively.

Thinking of projects and communities that you have been part of, is there something specific you have seen that helps or hinders collaboration?

Or would you like to develop stronger skills and capacity to collaborate and communicate?

There is always more to learn. Please get in touch or post in the comments if you have insights, or if you would like support either as an individual or for your group / community.